Hello,
I have gotten one letter since arriving. I think im going to have to wait a lot longer for mail from now on....so keep em coming haha. I need letters, not to sound demanding or anything....but they REALLY help.
Well, in all honesty its hard to remember what happened this week. I'm pretty sure I spoke a lot of Portuguese (or tried lol), saw lots of miracles, and came home.....crawled home every day exhausted haha. Life as a missionary is kind of impossible to describe. I have never been so tired in my life. My brain is always working hard because of the language...and there have litterally been a few lessons where I have to keep shifting around so that I don't fall asleep. Actually, Im pretty sure I might have accidently fallen asleep in a lesson or or two for a few seconds, but I don't think they noticed.
So, we MIGHT get a baptism this transfer! Whoo. We had a lot of dates set for this transfer and sooo many awesome investigators, but all of them just need more time. So we have big plans for next transfer. Our goal is 15 baptisms! Hey, its possible. We just need lots of faith....and work...and fasting. We are fasting every week. I know this will bring miracles. I would fast every day if we were allowed, but alas, once a week is the limit. I love fasting, because its something I KNOW I can do right and I'm guaranteed to get help from God. Its like paying tithing. When we have something we CAN actually do perfectly, take advantage, because there are very few things I can do perfectly. I like the things that I can do exactly right and not always feel inadequate. I have never been so humbled by any experience in my life. I feel so inadequate all the time, but luckily Heavenly Father is carrying my along. There are some lessons where I forget we are speaking another language and everything just flows, but then their are others where my brain just gives up and all I can do is wait for a spare moment to bear my testimony about something I think they were talking about haha.
Im not going to lie, many times I feel so alone because of the language barrier. I love talking to people and really getting to know them, but here it's difficult because I often can't understand the responses to my questions. My comp is very helpful and supportive, but it's still hard sometimes. I think this experience is really good for me though, because I'm learning to rely on the Savior so much. For the first time in my life, I really have nobody else to emotionally rely on, so I have to turn to my Savior. All this time, I knew ABOUT Christ, but I didnt really KNOW Him as the dear, trusted friend that he is to all of us. He knows how I feel. He truly can comfort me, but its my job to turn to Him for help. I think I have always been a little too proud and maybe a little to weak in my faith to turn to Christ and really believe he would be able to comfort and help me like a friend, but I know He can. He is right now, and even though its hard, I know this experience is a blessing. I have wanted to KNOW Christ my whole life, and I'm beginning to. He is real. He is powerful and gentle, strong and meek, loving and wise all at the same time. I promise you all that when you feel that there is NOBODY that understands you.....there is. We are never alone. He is waiting to comfort us all. He knows our pains. He weeps when we weep, just like He wept when Lazarus died, even though he knew he would rise again.
to me
Im learning so much every day. Literally we have miracles every day! I just need to be more patient, I know. There is so much I need to work on. Luckily I have lots of time...eternity actually lol.
I think my favorite moment this week was when a man told me I was `luminada`, which means he could see that I had light....in a sense. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing much and I'm running in place, but moments like that remind me that I do have light and that I am an example of Christ for others. We can all be examples of Christ. I love you all so much and miss you.
abracos,
sis Hunny
