6/9/14

Hey, wow, okay well where to start? So.....first of, everyone can take a deep breathe and relax. I'm okay. God is good. The church is still true. Nobody has died.....yet lol jk. But really, I'm alright. I'm still in pain, but I'm on 3 different pain killers and all I do is lay around the house studying more or less. You should be proud. I decided that, for the first time in my life, I think I'm gonna really go all out and take care of my body the way the other people do....aka rest. So, even though it's somewhat equal to torture sitting around inside all day without doing any work, (even though I feel like I could probably endure the pain and push through and walk a little ways to teach lessons) I thought to myself `you know, my body is pretty important....and I'm in Brazil.....I think I'm gonna play it safe this time´. So I'm taking care of myself and my comp is doin' a great job of reminding me to take my pain meds. 

It sounds like you guys know all the symptoms. The healthcare here is just...well they say we can't be negative in our letters haha, so I'll just say.....it's really different than it is in America. I'm so sorry that this week has been so confusing and hard to get information, but if it makes you feel better, you guys know more than me. I literally am just sitting inside and waiting for news on what in the world will happen. But, Sister Brum did tell me that I'll probably be going home this week. Time is just passing really slowly though, because, well you know how it is when you're sick and don't know why, and its been 2 weeks since I went to the hospital. 

   BUT, on the spiritual side :) I know that ALL of this has happened the way it did for a reason. I want you to know that God has not left me alone in this process, and I honestly felt that I was going home from the moment I went to the hospital. I just knew it was going to happen, but thought it was super strange, so pushed it away. Well, I never got better, kept praying, and everytime I prayed I felt even stronger that I would go home. Not only that, but that I NEEDED to be there. I think that's honestly been the hardest part. I have known what needs to happen since the beginning, but everything is progressing so slowly. Guys, dont worry about my emotional state. Of course, it's all so fast and it's hard to get everything cut short in such a quick moment. It could be really easy to feel unfinished, but honestly, after all of my praying, this is probably the very first time in my mission where I feel....complete. I feel peace. I feel a steady assurance that I truly didn't leave anything undone, that I gave 100 % and God is proud of me. That I really was and am a great missionary because I have given my whole heart. When I was doubting myself a lot and still super in the dark about what would be my fate, I talked (maybe cried a little) to my sister training leader and told her I was so confused about why I felt I would be going home, but I wasn't getting any answers from doctors or leaders. I doubted if I even knew how to receive answers to prayers anymore. But, the lull was necessary. I had to doubt everything so that I could really put my trust in God's will. My sister training leader stopped me and said ´Let's say a prayer right now and ask God again`....so I did. I asked Him to help me know if I was feeling the right things and to help me know what to do. I told God that I had given all I had to this work and just wanted to do His will. At the end of the prayer, Sis S was crying and told me that the moment I said that I'd given my all, she felt an overwhelming rush of God's love for me. She said, "Sister I haven't known you very long, but I know with a surety that you have given 100% and just know that God has fully accepted all that you have done." 

In short, I feel a lot of peace, even though this last transfer has been the loneliest and most confusing at times, it has also been the most uplifting. I have felt an outpouring of love from God and family and fellow missionaries here. I truly have a family of missionaries here and the ward and member that I have come to love have been incredible through all of this. Trials bring us together. In the end, they are always a blessing. I know this. I know that, as my zone leader assured me, God does not leave us to suffer. I trust this and I have chosen to use this time as a blessing, not a trial. I love you all. Apparently I'll be seeing you soon. Hopefully I'll be calling someday. I'm learning a LOT of patience and trying to not be pushy. I know Pres is doing all he can. Wow, well I'll see you on the other side I hope. In the end, we will look back and see how this was all one giant miracle and tender mercy of the Lord. Don't worry....but thank you for worrying. A lot of people don't have so many people praying for them, and it truly makes a difference to know I can come home to open arms.

Beijaos

Sister Hunny

6-2-14

No inserts yet.

Oh dear, I hope that taught you to always SAVE your documents along the way lol (teacher mode right there). Yeah we get the Ensign. Its in English too, which is really nice :)

So, this week was...interesting haha. First of all, we met this goliath of a man doing street contacts. I swear, imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger, but bigger, and black. That is M. He looks like the last person you would expect to be interested in the church, but he totally surprised us. This guy is like a giant teddy bear. We started teaching him and holy cow, I felt like he was looking straight into my soul. He is a super pure and innocent person, even though he looks like he could crush you with one hand. So, we are excited about this guy. Other good news, A and her family got baptized yesterday in Jaboticabal, so that's always wonderful. Another success story. Even though I couldn't be there, I'm just thrilled that she can finally continue progressing. A is an incredible example of how the Atonement of Jesus Christ can literally change people from the inside out. 

Ok.....so...other news. I'm still sick. I'm not sure if I really had worms and got rid of them and then got another sickness, or if this was the same problem all along. But, long story short, on Monday I woke up and my stomach hurt really bad. Then, by the end of the day, I was crying from the pain and breathing like a pregnant woman. So, we went to the hospital (our members are incredible. Claudia, an Irma took us to the hospital and stayed with us the whole time and even made me soup the next day. It's so great to have loving members. Makes all the difference) and then I laid on a hospital bed until a doctor came. She pushed on my stomach and hit my back a few times and then told me I probably have a kidney stone and pumped me with some painkillers. Then I went home, but the next day, the pain was back, even with meds. 

Skip to the future. I went to a specialist, and he said I actually have a gallstone because its hurting on both sides....more like just everywhere actually haha. My district leader tried to force me to stay inside all week and not work, but we snuck in a few lessons here and there when I wasn,t hurting too bad hehehe. In the end, our numbers were still pretty decent, so that was a cool miracle. I'm really trying to show my companion that, when you feel like you can't, you can. When you are hurting and you go out, God gives you miracles. She has a tendency to ALWAYS be sick and wants to stay inside, but one night this week, she told me that I was teaching her by my example that she can work even when it's hard. 

Here's the thing though. God also gave us the Word of Wisdom and wants us to always care for our bodies. The pain isn't going away and apparently the only solution is surgery that removes the gall bladder completely. So, I'm going to talk to President today, but I know that, in the end, God wants to care for my health first. I cant help anyone if I'm not taking care of myself. I know that whatever happens is in God's plans and that His timing is very different from our expectations. I'm willing to do whatever the Lord asks, wherever He asks, and sometimes the location has to change, but I will not. I know that this gospel is true and that God has a perfect plan, and because of that, I'm not afraid of the future. I know that Christ makes everything possible and that we only have to rely on Him to see miracles every single day. I know that we can change the world by loving and serving others and by sharing the gospel with everyone. I know that the gospel is for EVERYONE because everyone deserves to be happy and forgive themselves. Everyone needs to be healed in one way or another. Only Christ has the power to do it.

Don't freak out, k. Seriously, its all gonna be okay whatever happens. But Mom and Dad, I think it would be a good idea to have your phones with you okay.

I love you guys so much and I feel the love of the Savior so strong every day. He really can be with us all the time. I'm so grateful to be a representative of Him everyday. We all can be! Actually, we all should be, especially those who have been baptized, because when we are baptized, we are promising God that we will always strive to represent the Savior. That is the big goal. If we can be a little more like that Savior every day, then it doesn't matter what we look like or how much money we have, we are succeeding. 

I love you all sooooo much. 

Sister Hunny

5/26/14

Mom, you have to eat the ice cream version of acai first, with banana and strawberry and granola and sweetened condensed milk. That will ease you into it lol.  It's the best. (I told her one of my Brazilian students bought me acai juice, but I wasn't a big fan.)

So, this week has been interesting. Sister B (the companion Tess just left) and her new comp stayed at our house, which was sooooo wonderful. I was already missing her. It was a party every night. I learned a lot this week....as always lol. But really, this week I learned more about my  purpose here. My comp is a hypochondriac...literally. We went to the doctor today and they said it was in her head. So we stayed inside a lot this week. President asked me to help her get motivated, and I was wondering how in the world to do it. I prayed every night to be able to love and help her but really felt like our numbers were super low according to standards. I thought, oh great, I am failing. But then, yesterday, after totaling up everything we did, L told me that those were the best numbers she had ever had in the mission, and that she was only able to do it because of my help. Wow, that was a surprise. I realized that, when we are helping people, we can't expect them to improve to our expectations immediately, but we also can't fail to recognize the improvements. In this life, we seldom have situations that are 100 % Fail or Succeed. No, generally everything is a process. We have to be patient with God, ourselves, the people we help, and see the little miracles all along the way. This week, we are going to do even better, and that is all that is important. Its the same for us all. We don't have to be perfect right  now. We just need to be improving, and we don't have to do it on our own. Remember that every trial is preparing us for something important in the future. When we have difficulties, it means God trusts us. Sometimes I catch myself wishing for a comp that didn't need to be fixed in some way. I imagine myself running from lesson to lesson with my comp, both of us with smiles always. And if I have a problem, I don't have to be strong because she will take care of me. Then I realize that I already had that....it was my trainer when I was a wee lil babe on the mish. Now its my turn to be the strong one. Why? Because I am capable and because God trusts me. So I will stop complaining about difficult situations and look for the blessings :)

Also, I want to pose a question: Why do you do good things? Really really truly down to the core, what is the motivation?

I have had to really face this question a lot lately, because of something wonderful that happened. Yeah that sounds strange I'm sure, haha, but let me explain. So right now, just about all of my investigators in Jaboticabal got baptized or are getting baptized. Miracles are happening left and right! Alice and her mom, who I taught for almost 5 months, is going to get baptized this Sunday! It's such a miracle. But I have a confession to make. After celebrating the great news, I had a moment of weakness and felt a little jaded. I thought, Why in the world do I always have to leave RIGHT before people get baptized. This happened in Ipiranga as well. Its not fair, I worked with them and cried with them and felt like a failure so many times, and now, nobody will even know that I wasn't just goofing off my whole time in Jabo because its not my baptism anymore.

.....okay, feel free to judge. I know that was totally selfish thoughts, but I'll admit, I couldn't help wondering if I had been doing something wrong and thus wasn't worthy of baptisms. Self doubt is a common thing here on the mish, haha. Then, I quickly chastised myself and asked myself ´`Why am I here? Why am I doing good?´` Is it for the recognition of men? Is it for my own satisfaction or peace of mind? Is it an obligation? Or is it really. really because I want to help people know Christ and find eternal happiness? If it's the last one, it really shouldn't matter who baptizes whom, or who is there to see it. They really don't need to remember their missionary to be changed. They only need to have the face of Christ in their mind. I thought about the people that make huge anonymous donations and probably get criticized at the same time for not giving charity. I thought about the people who dedicate their whole lives to serving others and seldom get thanked and will never appear on the news. I thought about the life of Christ and the one in ten lepers that returned to thank him. I realized that if I am upset, it is because I am serving for the absolute WRONG reason and really need to change. I thought I was totally selfless in my intentions, but turns out I needed some humble pie. So that's my question. Why do we do good? Be really, really honest with yourself because the true joy of service only comes when we are completely motivated by charity, the pure love of Christ. That, my friends, does not require a prize at the end.

I love you all so much. thanks for all you do.

Tell your Brazilian student OBRIGADA amigo. voce é o melhor!

Beijossssss

Hunny

5/19/14

Hey everybody!!! So wow, it's only been a week, but it feels like it's been waaay longer. Okay, well where to begin. This week was pretty great. I missed my trainee Sis B a lot...and Sp...and C. But I'm loving the new area and L and I are working hard. She was with a sick comp last transfer and is really excited to be able to work now. The best part of Ala 1 is that it shares church houses with Ipiranga, my old ward!!! Wahoo, wow, Sunday was so awesome you guys. I got to see everyone from Ipiranga and they all remembered me. It felt so great to be around people that remembered and loved me even after all this time. Sometimes we wonder if we will leave and just be forgotten, but the members don't forget and it's so good to be received with open arms. The ward now has awesome members, and the Bishop is super great too. I'm really pumped, because there are some awesome people, and we just need to unify them and get them more excited about missionary work. The Bishop is really open to new ideas, which is super nice because that was one of the difficulties in my other area. Okay, but the best part of this week was a super huge miracle/ tender mercy on Saturday. So, because I left Jabo, I didn't get to be there for R's baptism yesterday. (it went great by the way) But the elders had a baptism here and so we went to help them. Then, I found out Ipiranga had a baptism after. Guess who it was: Th (C's daughter) and her boyfriend Dan. Wow, so Sperry and I are the ones that started teaching her when she was super wishy washy and didn't really care and by the time we left, she was coming to church. But past that, I didn't know what would happen with her. I didn't get to see C's wedding or baptism, but I was here for her daughter. That family is the closest thing I have to a family here in Brazil, so it was like being at my sister's baptism. Wow, God is so good, because He perfectly timed it so that I would have a baptism even though I missed R's. Even more perfect was the fact that she still was a little wishy washy about the baptism, but with me there helping her, she went for it. So perfect. Her boyfriend is so awesome. It's incredible to see the change in him. I remember when Th told us he wanted a book of Mormon, but we didn't even know he had been listening in on our lessons with C. One day, he was across the street hanging out with his friends, but me and Sperry walked over and gave him a BOM. I thought he would be annoyed or embarrassed, but later he told the elders that he knew then that everything was true. He just never told us. Wow, we really never know the difference that we make. Sunday was so great. I saw that my less actives were still going to church and staying strong. One of them is going to the temple soon. There are many moments in the mission when I have felt like a failure. Many many moments, but this week reminded me that I'm not here for nothing. I just have to trust that God has a purpose for me. 

Okay one last request: Members, please support your missionaries. You really have no idea what the work is like, what that area is like, what is really going on until you work side by side with them. Before you criticize or judge their work, please ask them how you can help first. They will gladly accept it!! And if they don't...well then I guess you can judge. Please, trust them a little more. Have confidence that God put them there for a reason. There is no such thing as a useless missionary. Sometimes he just needs a little more support, or sometimes its not him that's at fault at all. Please just....be good to the missionaries. Its really not food that we need. We are already fatter than ever before lol. Its support and confidence and HELP. Please remember that we have left EVERYTHING to SERVE your ward. We don't have a family and we aren't getting paid and we didn't get a special training. We are literally just doing our best to serve the Lord and His children. Your love means more than you will ever know. A missionary never forgets the members that helped.

5/12/14

Hey, so it was soooooo great to talk to you guys. Wow, it felt so familiar, and it was seriously such a blessing that I didn't struggle in speaking English. Way more efficient when you don't have to stop and think. I have to do that sometimes when I'm typing. Mom and Dad, you guys look so great. Oh I forgot to tell you. I sent a Mother's Day card, but it probably won't get there until Father's Day, lol. Oh well. One day, communication won't be so disheveled, lol. 

So, how weird is it that the next time I see your beautiful faces will be at Christmas! I don't know, did I seem different? I hope I wasn't serious or boring, haha. But I also hope that I at least have changed a little bit, for the better of course. I feel like I've changed a lot. Sometimes I think about how I would have acted in certain situations and am embarrassed at my past self, lol. The mission is incredible that way. It really changes who we are at the very core. Well actually I don't think it changes us so much as helps us discover who we truly are in God's eyes. 

So I got transferred back to Ipiranga, but another ward. How awesome is that!? It was sad to leave my comp and my district. We were really a family there. I cried when I left my trainee B at the bus station. I'm really nervous for her because she is going to have a hard companion, and I can already see that she is starting to close up a little bit because she is afraid of getting hurt. Ugh, I don't want her to lose the progress she has made. But she knows I will always be there for her and I know that all transfers are inspired. My new comp is sister L. She is from the AMAZONS. Que chique. She told me this past transfer was really hard because her companion didn't want to work at all, and she told me I'm an answer to her prayers. When I told her she would be happy this transfer, she told me she had a feeling as if she had just received her testimony again. Haha, I really hope I can help her heal a bit. Something that really made me feel great is that she told me my reputation in the mission is that I work really hard. Wow, I honestly had no idea. I haven't had a baptism since December and sometimes wonder if maybe I'm not working hard enough...but I feel like I'm working really hard. Its really easy to doubt yourself. But L told me that when she found out I was her comp, missionaries were calling her and telling her she was going to get to finally work super hard and that I am super diligent. It was really an answer to my prayers to know that God approves of my efforts. It's so easy to feel like you're not doing enough, but I have seen miracles every day of my mission, so I know that Father is not far from me. Another really gratifying experience was after I talked to you guys. Remember Luc, the lady that talked to you. I love her so much, and have become very close with her. I always gave her little challenges to grow and she always did them . There were many times that  I had a heart to heart with her because I could tell she was struggling. Last night I talked to her some more and she told me she has never met a missionary that changed her life so much. She told me she knows that we knew each other before this life and believes God sent me to be an angel in her life. Wow, well moments like those remind me that baptisms are important, but they aren't a measure of our success. God will use us in ways we never expected if we only listen to him. 

I love you and I'm so excited to make this last part of my mission the best part. I am rededicating myself to this work 200 percent.

Love you. and SHARE the gift of the Gospel. We can't be stingy with something so fantastic.

5/5/14

​The email this week is very short...I think because we get to talk to her on Sunday (Mother's Day). I can't wait!

​I think I will be able to call/ skype you guys around 3  my time, but be ready before and after because I'm not sure. But plan around 3. 

​

 H

​

ey so 

​

I

 literally don

 ​'​

t have time to say anything, but we will talk soon. Just know that this week was THE best and 

​

 I

​

 love my trainee so much

​,​

 and she has really opened up and is a gift and a miracle. Love is truly the cure for all pains. Love more and trust more, even when it is scary. Forgive when it isn

 ​'​

t fair. 

​

U

​

 ntil Sunday :)

MY comp is Sister B. She is in the orange. Isn

 ​'​

t she just gorgeous? She is the best

​.​

4/28/14

Hey there minhas queridas!!
First, let me give you a health update because I'm sure that's what
you want to know first.
Well I took this killer medicine that turned my pee neon and hurt
worse than the worms haha.....but things are looking up and I'm able
to leave the house again :) I'm getting stronger day by day and
looking forward to that moment when I eat something and don't even
think about throwing up lol
I'll take another round soon that kills the eggs because apparently
they stick around. These guys are really troopers. But Hey, everything
worked out the last time, so it should this time too.

So, highlight of this week was fo sho interviews with President. I was
really feeling down about the work...especially because two of the
symptoms of worms are apathy and depression. Uh oh. So I told Pres I
was really having a tough time getting excited about the work because
it just didn't seem to matter what I did' and I couldn't do anything
at the moment and my comp has difficulties believing that anyone can
love her. So I was a bit discouraged.
He really helped me just chill out and something important that I
realized is that my work is my work and my value is my value, and they
don't define each other, As sacred as this work is, it's still
basically my job right now, and will always have ups and downs,
regardless of my efforts, desires or intentions. But my value in Gods
eyes and my purpose in this life does not waver. I used to be a little
afraid of talking numbers because I always felt guilty after, but now
they don't scare me. Duh, if you teach more people, there are more
people that are going to get baptized. It doesn't mean I'm obsessed
with numbers or that I'm a failure, but instead, President just wants
us to always be looking forward.
Also, my comp had a great experience with Pres as well and he told me
not to give up. This week has been great. She doesn't pull away when I
hug her, and she is opéning up more and more. She told me that she
will NEVER forget me for the rest of her life and that even if she
likes other sisters, nobody will be her trainer. She told me she knows
I have affected her entire mission and helped her to stay. Oh man,
that was the best thing to hear, because I just love her so much. She
still hasn't said she loves me back, but its coming. I can feel it :)
Sometimes the very best thing we can do for people is just to not give
up on them. Everyone seems to be waiting to be failed or abandoned.
Let's be the one that doesn't leave even when we would be justified in
doing so. We can't let others hurt or discourage us, but let's give
them the benefit of the doubt. Lets believe that they are just around
the corner of changing. That is what Christ did for us. That is what
Heavenly Father does every moment of every day.

Other news, I got packages!!

Thanks! to Claire, Mom and Dad...and Amanda (haha those drawing were
de mais) and Rachel (my new British friend. the sisters loved the
British sweets).

Oh and we made american pancakes today....America!!!!
Ill send pics next week